Have you ever been in a meeting and suddenly felt tense, misunderstood, or even shut down without really knowing why? This will make sense of that moment. 

When uncertainty or conflict puts us in “threat mode,” our brains can sabotage trust and connection. In this episode, we’ll explore the SCARF model and learn simple strategies to shift out of threat and into reward—so you can lead, communicate, and respond with clarity instead of reactivity. SCARF = Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness. These are 5 domains that influence human social interactions and can trigger a threat or reward response in the brain.

What if the way we speak, listen, and interpret has less to do with intention and more to do with our wiring? 

This episode is an invitation to become more dialed in to how you move through communication, how you listen, and what your tendencies are for interpreting others words or actions. Understanding your own communication lens is part of building that awareness and doing the work of you. Noticing when and why communication breaks down is also important. We can also assume the way we are wired to communicate is how others are wired. This can lead to misunderstandings – when I subconsciously assume that you are motivated by the same things that I am. OR that you instinctually listen for the same things that I do to ensure clarity, control, safety, or connection.  This episode is about understanding your own communication patterns so they don't derail your message or your relationships.

What if a story you told yourself wasn’t true? What impact are the stories you tell yourself having on how you live and lead? 

In this episode Jen explores how the stories we tell ourselves shape our reality—and often get in the way of truth, trust, and connection. She dives into what are stories, a framework called Ladder of Inference, real-life examples, and self-coaching prompts to help manage your own stories. When we don’t have all the facts, our brain fills in the gaps with a story. This happens almost instantly — and unconsciously. We rarely realize we’re doing it. Then add emotion and it really sticks. Our brains prioritize emotionally charged narratives because they feel more “true” and memorable — even if they’re based on assumptions rather than facts. Then we start selecting data that supports our story and ignoring data that doesn’t — reinforcing the same belief loop. This is when the story starts to feel like the truth, even when it’s not at all grounded in facts -- and that's when it causes trouble. 

Why building your leadership brand is an inside-out job. 

Think about a brand you absolutely love — maybe it’s a coffee shop, a clothing label, or even your favorite airline. Got it? Now… why do you love it? Is it the quality? The way they treat you? The way you feel when you interact with them? This information is helpful to understand because it works the same for your brand -- your leadership brand. Whether you realize it or not, you already have a leadership brand — it’s how people experience you, what they expect from you, and the consistency (or inconsistency) they’ve come to count on. And just like with the brands you love, that brand is built — or broken — in every single interaction. This episode covers why your leadership brand matters and how to define your own brand experience through Jen's framework -- building your leadership brand house. 

Unpack the hidden drives that shape how your Enneagram type shows up in life and leadership. 

Have you ever met someone who shares your Enneagram type but acts nothing like you? You might have thought, ‘Wait — are we even the same type?’ That’s the magic of instincts. Instincts explain why two people of the same type can have totally different priorities, fears, and energy. This is another powerful aspect of doing the work of you – both your core motivation and your dominant instinct act automatically, like how patterns can work as we discussed in ep 4. The drive of your motivation is there to protect you and your instinct works similarly – it’s an unconscious reaction – operating like an animalistic instinct. Both your motivation and instinct can take over and run your life if you’re not aware and don’t learn to manage them…so it’s critical to understand which is your dominant instinct and then how to tame it. Be sure to check out Episode 5 to learn more about the Enneagram model and how it works.

How's it going for you -- doing the work of you? 

As we approach a milestone of 10 episodes coming up this week; I felt called to drop an "off the cuff" bonus episode. In it I share what came up for me after hearing Oprah interview the co-founder of the Hoffman Process, Raz Ingrasci. And this notion of substituting vibrancy and happiness with success. I also check in and reflect on where I'm at in my own inner work journey since attending Hoffman in 2016 and I nudge you to check in by asking -- how's it going for you since you started listening? This is hard work and it's important to me that we all feel and trust that we're in this together. 

Learning the 9 Enneagram types through the most soulful, intuitive beings — dogs.

Today’s episode is all about connecting with the Enneagram in a fresh and engaging way that sticks while helping you do the work of you by understanding yourself on a deeper level. Jen taps into the best qualities of each Enneagram type by bringing to light some of the most soulful, intuitive and lovable creatures: DOGS. As a passionate dog lover, Jen shares two breeds per type to cover the different expressions of each type’s energy. Be sure to listen closely for some special dog shoutouts (and check the @theworkofyou Instagram page for dog pics)! Remember – not all types look the same – when you add your dominant instinct into the mix it can look different. This is covered briefly in EP 5, and there will be a future episode that dives into the 3 instincts further and the 27 subtypes of the Enneagram. For now in this episode,  listen for what overarching pieces feel deeply resonate for you -- which dog breed are you? 

What if feedback felt inspiring and inviting vs something you dread or want to avoid? 

Feedback doesn’t have to feel like criticism. In this episode, Jen explores a new way to think about feedback using the Shift Positive® method — a strengths-based, solution-focused approach she co-created that's centered around creating a supportive feedback experience. Despite the best of intentions most of the feedback methods out there have not been designed with the brain in mind. We'll get into the neuroscience and why it makes feedback feel so hard. Then we'll do into 3 immediate shifts you can make in you approach to gathering and giving feedback to make it far more effective and energizing. 

This episode drops on my 49th birthday so what better than time than now to pause and reflect on some special people who have helped my growth journey. True growth happens in connection — through allies, mirrors, feedback, and belonging. This episode is a personal celebration and a coaching truth: we do not transform alone. If you're a dog lover - be sure to listen to the very end when end for Koko’s special birthday cameo.

What if the key to your growth isn't fixing what you've been told is a weakness or an area that you need to improve; instead, it's about doubling down on your strengths?

Today's focus is on strengths and why they matter more than your weaknesses. Strengths are a foundation for self-leadership and growth. This is an invitation for you to, instead of obsessing over where you need to improve or what might be some of your weaknesses, to actually think even more than you ever have before about your strengths. The the work of you is about leading from your core, your authentic core, and your strengths are a huge part of that.