Why You Keep Having the Same Conflict

Most conflict conversations focus on behavior — what was said, what was done, who escalated. But behaviors are what show up at the surface, above the waterline (cue iceberg image). What's underneath is the pattern, the fear, the strategy each person is running without knowing it. When two people's hidden layers collide and neither one can see their own — that's where communication breaks down.

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Enneagram 2: The Gift of Giving; The Cost of Never Receiving